I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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