And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
