Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
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you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
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don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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