I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize