Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
