Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
