I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
