Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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