omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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