You smell like stripper and shame
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
