It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
