Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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