I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
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My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
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My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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