I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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