I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
