That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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