i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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