Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
