Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
