No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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