You're my little dorito
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
