Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
