If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize