dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
