if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
