she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
