Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Drunk is not a location!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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