some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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