we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize