dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
