I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
