dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
