Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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