If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
