i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
