I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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