trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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