i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we're making bets on your personal life
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
