Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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