all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
