im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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