okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
