The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
