i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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