Your face is a jimmy john
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
you had me at cake vodka
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
