UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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