dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
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Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
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She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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