The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
