the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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