Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
