then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
