I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
