my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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