he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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