apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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