Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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