You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think I sprained my soul last night
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
