I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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