if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
