If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
