what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
