u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
