..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
