I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
