Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
