sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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