I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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