At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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